Hangzhou, earth's paradise

Hangzhou is a little overcast yesterday, and I guess it will be the same today. What's amazing is that though the skies are cloudy, the beauty of Hangzhou could not be hidden.

Yesterday, I had a boat ride through West Lake, it was cold but worth the ride. And from the boat, we got off at the place where there are lush greeneries, fantastic gardens and awesome mountains. It's a paradise, indeed.

If Hangzhou is a paradise, people here are maybe "angels"? Well, going to the tea museum, I observed that most of the people we met along the road were old people, around 50-60, and they were very welcome when you ask a question or two.

There is a water show in West Lake, just across the Grand Hyatt Hangzhou. We went there at 6:30 but one said that the show starts at 7, so we went to Starbucks, which is just 5 minutes walk from the water show area, to grab some drinks, then get back at 7 when the water show started. I was speechless at how it worked - music, lights, and water...gorgeous!

I have several photos of Hangzhou which I could not post today, and more stories which I could not tell by now. Hopefully I could fill you in with more on my next post.

I realized that I havent updated my blog for several weeks, and these weeks are quite important weeks with happenings like - my birthday, another friend's bithday, Christmas party with Pinoys (where the snow came at 11:30 to add more fun on our party), Christmas dinner (where I begin to appreciate red and white wine), Christmas party with Indonesians (where I discovered I'm good at eating contests, hahaha!) and all the other joys that came in between - yet, I did not blog about them. Am I too lazy to write now? I dunno.

For now, let me enjoy Hangzhou and savor the paradise it offers.

End of the road

"We have reached the end of the road." I told my last class this afternoon.

Today was my last day for this term. Beginning tomorrow I'm a free lady. Well, I'm still tied up to calculating grades but I don't have to wake up so early and rush with my coffee and run and pant to catch the school bus. I can relax beginning tomorrow.

There's this certain laziness that surrounds winter. It should be because of the cold. My alarm is always set at 5:15, and so I wake up at that time. Then I go back to sleep and wake up at about 30 minutes after, this time I'm already hastening myself to the bathroom, drag myself to the early morning bath, think speedily of what to wear, munch a bread or something while gulping down my coffee. Those, and a lot of other miscellaneous stuff I have to do.

Imagine me sighing a deep breath once I'm settled in the school bus. If those things did not pump up my winter morning, I don't know what else can.

Yet I'm at the end of the road for this term.

No more hustle-bustle morning. I can enjoy my coffee while reading the news in the internet, or do my devotion devoid of a hanging question mark in my head asking what time it is already.

End of the road, when you stop a bit and become cognizant of the fact that you don't have any iota of an idea what's next for you. When you have fear in your heart but at the same breath believe that faith will see you through. When you think about the times you will miss, or the people; but also fantasize about the possibilities of the future.

End of the road. You let go of those that you did not need in the journey and bring with you that which benefits. You take what you learned and throw away that which hurts.

When I think about this "End of the road" moment that I'm experiencing, I think about how, as a kid, I would go back to where I'm from once I realize I'm at the end of the road. But in life it always doesn't work that way. The end of the road doesn't mean turning back but moving on. It doesn't mean you retreat but in fact it means you take heart because there is more to come.

Because the truth is, the end of the road has an opening, a door, but it's only for those who has the eyes to see it, or the heart to know the difference.

cute!

Isn't this cute? This is a drawing on the whiteboard of my classroom (Room 204). A student drew this while waiting for me to arrive. She is to take her Oral English final exam that day.

I told her I was so happy with what she drew because I looked so pretty. Sweet!

Wait, does this mean I'm going to give her a high mark because of this drawing? You guess! Heheh!

teaching and loving

I shared to friends a week ago that teaching, for me, has been an up and down ride, like a roller-coaster, if you like. There were days I felt really good at the end of the day. Flashed on my mind were my students' smiles, laughters and funny reactions or statements that made me proud and grateful to be a teacher.

In the meantime, there were frustrating days. I remember going to bed one night, and asking God for help, like really asking, because I felt so weak to deal with teaching stuff on my own.

But both the good days and the bad are part of the package of being a teacher, and I would exchange it for no other.

I know the feeling of how to have a "terror teacher." One that would shake you to your foundations just by one look of a teacher's sharp eyes, or by the piercing words that would hurt so much. So, I don't do that.

I also know of how it is to have a boring teacher, one that would let us read pages of a book in the entire class, or would assign us to report so that she could get away with her responsibility to teach. I'm not saying that assigning students to report/research on some topics is bad, but there are teachers who would use that for the entire term. I don't buy that teaching idea.

So, I'd like to think that I am not a terror teacher, nor a boring one. I have no definite term for what I am as a "laoshi," and it's fine with me to let things go like that.

This term is closing, I actually have less than 2 weeks left. I must admit, I'm emotional again. To tell you honestly, my first term as a teacher, when I found out that I will not be teaching the same students for the next term, I was so disappointed that I almost cried in class (I held back the tears, ok?) when I announced it to the students.

In my second term, because I was busy with the English program in Hyatt International Hotel, I wasn't so much down.

But this term...hay!

I thought I'm good at this already. I thought I'm good at saying goodbye. I'm still not. Or maybe I never will be.

I started giving my final exam this morning. It was an individual Oral exam and so I had the time to speak to students' individually and at the same time get to know them better. As time moved on within the day, It made sense to me that my students' life were interesting to learn about. I wish to follow it, like a person kicking back at the sofa and trying to figure out what's gonna happen next in the ongoing television drama. I wish to know what's gonna happen next with this young lives I've learned to love.

I really don't know if I'm a good teacher. I know some students have looked deep inside of me, of my weaknesses and my emotions, or my strenghts and idealism. Of how I am on a sunny day, or of how my temper gets the better of me when I'm running short of patience.

Yet just now, I realized something. The reason why I will never be able to master the art of saying goodbye to students is that I cannot separate teaching and loving. As I teach students, I learn to love them. It's like I've given them a part of me - of my brain, of my heart.

And the reason it's hard to say goodbye is because it's always hard to let go of something, or someone, you love.

grateful

Today, I thank God for..

The friend who told me he misses me, because that means that he treasured our friendship.

The Chinese taxi driver who played English RnB songs when he realized that I am a "way guo ren" (foreigner). I really enjoyed the beat, then my phone rung, and even without me signaling him to lower the volume, he immediately did. Sweet!

That little boy in church who asked people to pray for his daddy who's going through medical treatment. "Please pray for my dad so that he can play with me again." That's why Jesus loves children, their eyesights are not blurred and hazy, they know what matters and their needs are simple.

For my friend, John, who doesn't get pissed by my jokes (well, I really hope he doesn't. lol.). After church, I asked him if he is going to join us (me with great Indo friends) for lunch. He said he can't cos he is going to join a friend for lunch. So I asked if he is going with a girlfriend. "No, it's a boy!" I guess John noticed my face turned from a smug glow to a teasing grin.

"So, you're going to have lunch with your boy friend?"

John has been very patient with me when I make fun of him. He is not a funny guy, quite serious actually. For one who is studying Chinese Traditional Medicine for three years, I would say who wouldn't be serious? But the good thing about John is that when I strike a joke at him, or when my fun-loving self gets the better of me, he knows exactly what to tell me, "time for your meds, granny!"

For Indonesian friends. They are happy people - Henny, Helen, Kristine, Iwan, Henry, Ronald and Denny. In the past weeks that I meet with them every Saturday for the Bible study, I've been utterly blessed by how their hearts have been so open for the love of Jesus. And it shows even without them telling me. They are filled with joy. They easily laugh, which makes my time with them very cozy cos I don't have to pull some teeth to make them laugh at my jokes.

I'm thankful to God that I met them. It started in church when I sat behind them and they turned to me and asked if I am from Tianjin University. And the rest, as they say, is history. (By the way, the lunch we had today was fun, we should do it again. Iwan's treat? lol!)

For Suffi. Though we did not see each other today, we kept in touch by sms. I'm thankful for her because God spoke to me many times through my friendship with Suffi.

There was a time when I had my hair cut short and she was with me. I complained about how I don't like the style, et. al, and she asked me, "You don't like changes, do you?" I was speechless because that time God has been speaking to me a lot about changes, and I guess her question confirmed what God has been trying to tell me - to accept changes, to let go of things that I've been holding on so much because though they are not bad in itself, but I don't need them in my journey anymore; to be open for changes in directions because if I'm not then God could never take me to experience new roads and adventures.

It's amazing, I have so many other things to be thankful about, but I couldn't write it all here cos they are soooo many, and my time is running short (it's 12:34 in the morning --- good morning!)

And I realized one thing - a blessed person is a thankful person. I should be writing more here about the people/situations that I am so grateful to have in my life.

Well...sooon.

P.S.

And how can I not thank you - yes, YOU, the one reading this blog right now. If you have gone this far in the blog, then I am blessed by your patience. I am not an engaging storyteller, but you have gone this far to read my thoughts. I am blessed by you!

pic labels (above):
1. Me, John and Suffi. The pic was taken last Summer at church.
2. Bible study with Helen (front) 2nd row - Kristin, Ronald, Suffi, Denny, Iwan, and 3rd row - Henny, Henry and yours truly. ;)

today...

There are moments in life when it feels so good to cry, or mourn. Moments when you long for your true home with your Savior where you are assured that He will wipe away all the tears from your eyes.

You cried hard, and tears were like raindrops at its utter abandon. At this point, you cannot say any other words, your heart is simply speaking a language of its own. Unfathomable words that only the Maker can understand.

Today, I realized that there is a place in my life, a character in me, an inner court in my heart; where only the Creator can understand. My complexities is known to Him, and nothing is vague in His eyes.

Today, I had a pain in my heart, and I cried and mourned...yet my Anchor remained strong. Steady as a rock.

David and Goliath, and Maricar...

This maybe a little late already, but who cares.

Last September, my sister, Maricar, took the Philippine Board Exam for Teachers (in the Phils.). I'm not really sure if she was so confident about it, or ready about it, cos for one, she self-reviewed. Others who took the exam spent months in review centers, not to mention paid lots of money for it.

Maricar reviewed at home where our mother could be so talkative at times, or our pet dogs - Aslan and Summer - would take her focus from reviewing, or the internet connection on the living room which can lure at anytime, or some random neighbors who'd buy stuff from the little store we have. Those, and more.

"All glory to God!" my sister said in our chat early this week.

This reminds me so much of the David and Goliath story in the Bible. I was studying and re-reading this story for days now because I'm thinking of sharing this in the Bible study we have here in Tianjin, China.

Goliath has been a fighter from his youth. From the story, I imagine Goliath to be one of those giants we see in wrestling matches - buff, muscular, intense, experienced, overly confident, and invincible.

On the other side of the spectrum is David, a young shepherd, about 16 years old - ruddy and handsome, and haven't had any experience in battle except those animals he killed for carrying sheeps from his flock.

When David approached Goliath, Goliath felt insulted, or so it seems, "Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks? (1 Samuel 17:43). Goliath cursed David's God and said, "Come here, and I'll give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

But what made all the difference was David's faith that the battle is the Lord's.

"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I
come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of
Israel, whom you have defiled. This day, the Lord will hand you over to me, and
I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today, I will give the carcasses of
the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the
whole world will know that there is a good in Israel. All those gathered here
will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle
is the Lord's and he will give all of you into our hands." (1 Samuel
17:45-47)

You probably know the ending. David strucked Goliath using a sling and a stone, no sword or spear.

And that's the great thing about a relationship with the Living God. It gives you confidence in every battle, no matter how shattered your heart is, no matter how small other people think of you, or how huge the task at hand - the battle belongs to the Lord.

It's not that you don't do your part, in fact, it should encourage you to be confident and do your best because your battle is His battle.

In John Mason's book, An Enemy Called Average, he mentioned the difference between David's view of Goliath to that of his brothers. " The brothers looked at the obstacle and figures it was too big to hit, but David looked at the obstacle and figured it was too big to miss."

And so last Sunday, probably a month and a half of waiting for the result, Maricar sent me a message on my mobile saying that she passed the board exam! Great!!!!

I was so happy! I sent messages to all my friends here in Tianjin who helped me pray for Maricar when she was reviewing and when she took the examination.

Congrats, Maricar. All glory to God indeed! He is faithful, and will forever be with you in every battle, in all circumstances. Your victory is His victory...and I'm sure He rejoices over you.

a must-read! --- The Shack

The book's back cover reads:

"Mackenzie Allen Philip's youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted
during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered
is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years
later, in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspcious note,
apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend.

Against His better judgement he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon
and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change
Mack's world forever."

I cannot remember having cried so hard over a novel as I did with this one. Well, you may not be like me whose tears are so easy, or whose heart can be so sensitive to the "touching" things around her, but I assure you, you will shed a tear or two (or morrreee!) with this novel. You can bank on it.

About this time last week, I was on my way to my room when the receptionist called me and handed a package. I was speechless. I looked at her with an "are-you-sure-this-is-for-me?" look (that's the best I can do until now, hehehe). So then I read the sender, and indeed the package was for me. It was from a friend in California, and inside the package was this book with a dedication from the author itself. I was soooo happy!

"Catherine, joy will find its way - Paul (William Young)"

An article about this novel, The Shack , had been published in New York Times, and indeed this book is a # 1 New York Times bestseller with over one million copies in print (and counting) already.

And you know what? I finished the book in just 3 nights, well, it could have been just one day if I weren't working. Obviously, this book is really good, otherwise I wouldn't have devoured it in just 3 nights. Nights when I could have snored early. Every page is worth it, the tears I shed were tears of freedom, understanding (about God) and prayer.

I'm not gonna give away the plot of The Shack here but let me just encourage you a little bit more about this book, and share to you what happened to me after flipping pages from beginning to end...

You will never look at God the same way again when you read this book. This book has the capacity to free the captives, and insult the religious. This book will dig truths about life and God, deeper and deeper it goes until you realize that the questions of the main character Mackenzie Allen Philips (about God, life, problems, tragedy, et. al.) were also your questions, and you will cry because his healing is your healing; and his victory is your victory.

And to quote one part of the book:

"Seriously, my life was not meant to be an example to copy. Being my
follower is not trying to 'be like Jesus,' it means for your independence to be
killed. I came to give you life, real life, my life. We will come
and live our life inside of you, so that you begin to see with our eyes, and
hear with our ears, and touch with our hands, and think like we do. But,
we will never force that union on you. If you want to do your thing, have
at it. Time is on our side." (-Jesus, The Shack)

So now it is my prayer, that I may be His hand, His eyes, His ears...that I may always be - HIS.

the light of His presence

Rainbows, such as this one produced by artificial light shone on an icy Niagara
Falls, are just one special effect of light, a marvel that reveals the world to
us. Light sets our biological clocks. It triggers in our brains the sensation of
color. Light feeds us, supplying the energy for plants to grow. It gives us
life-changing tools, from incandescent bulbs to lasers and fiber optics.
Scientists don't fully understand what light is or what it can do. They just
know that it will illuminate our future.

(Text adapted from and photo shot on assignment for, but not published in, "The Power of Light," October 2001, National Geographic magazine)

I read somewhere before that nature is our first missionary. And I agree to it. How many times have I felt so small when I look at the sky above, or when I gaze at a full moon.

Here in Tianjin, the sunsets are awesome. I was once on a bus talking to a Chinese friend when we passed by a lake with many trees surrounding it and as my Chinese friend asked me to look at the sun, the timing was perfect for I saw the magnificent reflection of the sun on the lake, and the sturdy trees around it swayed to the lullaby of the wind. I was almost in tears because earlier that day, I prayed to God that He would surprise me with His beauty. And that was one of His many answers.

Sometimes, we get used to the amazing nature around us that we don't even consider what it wants to say to us. Nature speaks, loudly in fact.

Consider the marvelous rainbows after a drizzle, or the blooming flowers at Springtime...don't you ever asked yourself where they come from? How about the stars above sparkling brightly on a Summer night? Or the rocks that glimmer on a clear, clean river?

All these, and more, points to Him, our Creator.

Sadly, many of us missed the point. Many tried to explain why such beauty exist; and cracked their heads for they could not find the formula, the reason, the understanding, the knowledge behind all they saw and discovered. And in the end they say there is no God? It's just unacceptable to some that many things of this world are way beyond what our brain can hold.

the talking whale (on writing)

Enjoyed an engaging story tonight - Finding Neverland starred by Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet and Freddie Highmore.

To let out a secret, I'm a Freddie Highmore fan. I love him in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And in his latest movie, The Spiderwick Chronicles, he played the characters of twins Jared and Simon; and I was swept by how he did the parts so well.

Not to digress to what this entry is all about, I have something here lifted from Finding Neverland when Peter (Freddie Highmore) told the playwright Mr. Barrie (Johnny Depp) that he has no idea what to write. And Mr. Barrie has this to say:

"Write about anything. Write about your family. Write about the talking
whale."

"What whale?" Peter asked.

"The one that's trapped in your imagination and desperate to get out."

Very well said, Mr. Barrie!

on writing...

"You don't write because someone sets assignments! You write because you
need to write, or because you hope someone will listen, or because writing will
mend something broken inside you, or bring something back to life..."

- Jay Mackintosh in Joanne Harris' Blackberry Wine

captivating

Women loves to eat. Everyone knows that. Lunching with (clockwise from left) Joy, Ren, (me), Mary-Ann, Ruby, Mira, Bonie and Mars.

Before celebrating Mary-Ann's bday, Mr. Yun, our Korean friend, posed with us: With me are(clockwise from left) Joy, Bonie, bday celebrator Mary-Ann, Ren, Mr. Yun and Ruby.

"Women friends become the face of God to one another - the face of grace, of
delight, of mercy."

"We birth life in others by inviting them into deeper realms of healing, to deeper walks with God, to deeper intimacy with Jesus. A woman is not less of a woman because she is not a wife or has not physically borne a child. The heart and life of a woman is much more vast than that. All women are made in the image of God in that we bring forth life. When we enter into our world and into the lives of those we love and offer our tender and strong feminine hearts, we cannot help but mother them."

-by John and Stasi Eldredge, Captivating (Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul)

Every Saturday, I'm blessed to have a group of women whom I can share my life with, and at the same time they share their lives with me. It is always inspiring, comforting, and encouraging. We would laugh, or even cry, share experiences, problems, frustrations, disappointments, and whatnots. We pray for each other, worship the Lord together and talk, talk and talk.

Every week we share our hearts to each other, every week I see the face of God - a face of grace, of delight, and of mercy through these women.

And it is always... captivating.

the waggish, or the honest answer (about singlehood)

A month ago, I bought 120 pairs of chopsticks in Beijing and sent it home and asked my sister to embellish it for a friend's wedding souvenir. This morning, that friend, who is to tie-the-knot this December chatted with me in ym to say her thanks.

And in the middle of the chat, she asked about my lovelife.

It's not like I'm new to this, no. In fact, I'd like to think that I have become so good at answering such query by digressing the issue and making it appear like I'm joking. Which I really am. Whoever says that we have to be so dead serious about being single?

In the world of singletons where one would enter a restaurant and signal the waiter, "table for one, please!", life is an adventure that will soon reach it's summit when one finds "the one". I'm saying that because for some time I imagined my life to be much better when "the one" is beside me experiencing the same thing that I'm having, say, traveling. I used to think that traveling would be much better if "the one" is beside me - pics beside me, hoping in to a new restraurant with me, or telling me where we will go next. Those were thought bubbles that seem so exciting to think about but remained, as they are - unreal.

But time has a gift of wisdom in itself, and I have learned that those moments were mere deception that took away my gratitude to where God has planted me at the moment.

So, when my friend threw in the proverbial question, "how is your love life?", I gave a waggish answer, as always, because to those who are outside the world of singletons, my sentiments may not sound so sensible.

But if I were to give an honest answer, it would be...

I have no love life, if you were asking about someone special, but I do have a life and this life might be so different (and filled with ennui) to some. It's a life of being single that I have come to love and live fully. It's a season of life where I hold on to God's purpose in me even when there are times that I find myself debating about that purpose. It's a season of hope even as time of hopelessness strikes every now and then. It's a season of discovering many things - about myself, my surroundings and about God. It's the season of ups and downs and up again, and a season of waking up late in the weekend morning without having to think of someone being hungry besides oneself. It's a season of freedom which means that I have to guard myself even more and be single-minded with God to be able to follow His ways of purity and chastity. There are times that my being single becomes a center of attention, a root of jocosity and humour, or even of curiosity and "grilling."

But all of it I love and would not exchange for anything else.

I have learned to take my lot without flinching, and with God's grace will I hold on to this until God knows when. I know what I'm worth and I don't sell myself cheap to someone who doesn't get it. I know who I am and that makes all the difference because I no longer care about the things I don't have. The world may say that a lover completes a life, but thankfully, I see the world in a different sight now...and know that nothing in this world can complete me.

I am single now, and may remain so for a long time, or maybe for the rest of my life; or maybe I won't be single for long - who knows but God! Thing is --- we all are at different stages of life, some are singles, some married, some in a relationship, the difference however, is in knowing the purpose of where we are and the anchor that we're holding unto as we trudge on.

So how's my love life? Which answer would you like me to give then...?

the love that never lets me go

One of the many times when I want to write something but I can't. I feel like my mind has many things to share but can't point out anything in particular.

I wanted to share about the laughter and tears in last night's group sharing, of the beauty of God's grace reflected upon all stories. And I was reminded again, I would try to be really good so that God would love me but I know I could never be good enough and I know there's nothing that I will do that'll make me less lovable. That's the beauty of having something that cannot be earned by yourself. It's humbling.

Or on the truth I received this morning..."Be bold in your prayers," David Rout preached. Many times I've been passive, thinking that the bad things that happened is natural and I should learn something from them, its a very positive way of thinking but I could also be bold in my prayers - that's the priviledge of having Jesus as the savior. I don't need to slaughter sheeps for sacrifice, I can simply come to Him, and be honest towards Him, and then surrender to Him.

David Rout also shared about some people who confessed that they know God but they only go as far as knowing God in their heads but not in their hearts.

And I thought about my personal walk with the Lord. Everyone knows its not easy to follow Christ. There were times when some people would tell me how I should follow Christ, they want me to follow their steps and standards. I struggled many times, and always Jesus would come to set me free.

One thing I learned is that following Christ is based on a personal relationship with Him...and that's why I have fallen in love with Jesus. He gave me faith, and so I hold on to faith as I talk to Him. And that faith sends me beside Him, with Him listening to what I'm saying.

He is not someone who would condemn me with my mistakes but He would always see things in the light of His love. He is not like other people, He forgives and forgets. He is not stuck on old ruts.

He trusted me too much, believes in me hugely...even if He knows I could not be trusted.

He understands my humanity - my laziness, my weaknesses and my faults. I can be myself with Him. He is the God who sees me and I don't have to put on anything for Him to love me. I can be wholly me and He loves me still.

And, Jesus knows I am so undone...and He never gives up on me.

It used to be that I would be touched with what Jesus did to those people in the Bible. But now He is more than the pages of that book. I know about His love for I'm experiencing it in my life. He is real to me.

If people would ask me about religion, theology and stuff, I would be sorry to say that I don't know much about those things. One thing I know - that He loves me, and His love never lets me go.

Now I'm writing. ;)

of the early cold and afternoon slumber

The liaison officer from the school told me two weeks ago that they're unloading from me some classes which means that I'm off Tuesday afternoons (aside from having my days-off on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday) coz they're giving these classes to the new foreign teachers.

I beamed at the idea. In my mind, I was thinking of blogs and books and tea and coffee, or movies, or self-study of some Chinese words.

And so this afternoon, after my "so-so" late lunch composed of chewy (Chinese) pancakes with fried eggs mixed with shrimps (okay, I was lost with what I ordered); I left the restaurant thinking about the books I would be reading for the afternoon - Tad William's The War of the Flowers, Kris Valloton's The Supernatural Ways of Royalty or the classic I'd recently borrowed from the school library - Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights.

The wind blew against my face as I walked out of the restaurant. It was cold. Last week, the temperature dropped to 7 degrees celsius which is quite early compared to last year's. Once inside my room, I felt the inevitable cold as well. The whole heating system in the Northern part of China officially functions starting November 15 of each year. I hate the heater from my room's AC but have to use it every once in a while to warm my room. There's no stopping for winter but I never expected autumn cold to be this early.

After an hour or two, I was sitting on my bed and was reluctant about what to do. My mind wanted to read but it seemed like my bed was calling me.

That's the thing about the cold, you see. It makes you lazy, well, at least for me it does. It's like some parts of me are frozen or something. I grabbed a book in the shelf and placed it above the bed to remind me to read it but several minutes after, I was off catching some zzzzz. Sorry, book.

Did I tell you that I felt cold so I covered myself with the blanket and...and...well...I fell asleep.

I awoke to the familiar voices of other foreign teachers who were talking on the hallway, outside my room. I thought it was morning and wondered why they were up so early. I grabbed my cellphone and looked at the time. It's 7:51 - in the evening!

I thought of the books that I should be reading and figured I'll read it later, unless I get busted with the cold again.

The famous Russian writer Alexander Pushkin wrote about the cold in Autumn:

"When gracious autumn comes, my heart feels gay and
light,

I am alive once more...Benign and salutary

Our Russian cold is, friends. My sleep, my appetite

It benefits, I vow. My very step grows airy;

The daily rounds of life brings me renewed delight;

Desires within me seethe...I'm young again and merry.

So am I built, so made, for which dull turns of speech

Your pardon, readers mine, herewith do I beseech."

Here's wishing I could say the same...cheers!

God puts a butterfly in my heart

The air
Sending movements
To its graceful wings

It flutters
Dancing through
Thousands of flowers

If you ever see
My spirit traveling from
Here to there

It’s because
God puts a butterfly
In my heart

Here it is
free and spirited
Rising up to the earth’s colors

Bouncing to
the rhythms of life
singing to its melody

And my laughter
Reaches through your ears
And you asked why it’s loud

It’s because
God puts a butterfly
In my heart

Don’t ask me
Why I cannot stay
The same way each day

Or why
I’m itching to reach
the long and friendly horizon

And then I flew
Threw my smile to the wind
And you asked me why it changes you

It’s because
God puts a butterfly
In my heart

My love,
Look at the sparkle
In the middle of my eyes

See how
I open wide my arms
To the lovely sun above

Have you
Not noticed this?
Have you not wondered why?

It’s because
God puts a butterfly
In my heart


*acp/feb26,2008

contemplation from Hongkong, or whatever

*Some ideas in this entry are lifted from my multiply site - http://cathyperez.multiply.com. I went to Hongkong July 19-21 of this year before I went back to the Philippines for an almost 2-month vacation.

At 9pm, Hongkong streets sizzle with lights, vendors and shoppers.

At The Peak Gallery. A date with Bruce Lee, nah! You're next, Brad Pitt!

I was in HK for four days - July 18-21 - and was overwhelmed by HK Lifestyle. Not that I want to live there, because to be honest I would not, but those tall buildings (HK is 75% rock so they're pretty confident for high-rise buildings), the astounding lights at night, the hordes and hordes of people in shopping districts at 11 pm, and the way strangers would drop a pick-up line just to know you more...Hongkong is, to me, an unfamiliar ground yet also familiar in a way that you'll see Filipinos there, especially on Sunday (hundreds and hundreds are around on Worldwide in Central).

I met my friend Cathy and her family on the 18th, and after that I was pretty much on my own. I managed to take the MTR (train) on my own from downtown shopping districts to my hotel (Newton Hotel in Ngau Tau Kok, I was on the 23rd floor...really fantastic view of the city) which I really enjoyed though it was so confusing at first because of the many interconnections. Bargaining was fun, I have learned how to dramatized bargaining in Tianjin and Beijing so it wasnt that hard in Hongkong. When I asked a price and the vendor would give a price, say 300, I bargain the half price - 150. Then when the vendor wrestles and would not agree, I would then turn away, at that time the vendor would call me again and we would arrive at a very agreable price. Quite cheeky, right? Heheheh!

Hongkong, as everybody knows, is a shopping haven; and a busy city fused with different nationalities. It could very well be a city that never sleeps, what with hundreds of people still "chilling" at 1 or 2 am. I would say it is a real adventure that I had in Hongkong because like many people, I could not help but walk fast. And for one who is a stranger to this city, I walked wherever my feet takes me. I looked for the MTR or the subway whenever I felt like I need to go back to my hotel.

On my second day, for lunch, I find it strange that an old guy joined me in my table. I know that with Chinese, they really don't mind people joining - it's in their culture. But to me that time, I was taken aback because there were 6 other tables that were vacant. Why wouldn't he go there?

I could not, for the life of me, understand that until this time. I guess it takes a Chinese to understand such actuation.

Also, I'm sure that many travelers (especially Filipinos) in Hongkong would love Cafe De Coral. Oh, I love the food there...yummy! (sorry, the food that we ordered escaped me already so I could no longer remember)

With my friend Cathy and her son in Central the day I arrived in Hongkong.


And oh, I should say that I soooo love the subway in Hongkong. It's very convenient and though at first you get confused with how it works, but later on as you get used to it - you would absolutely love it!

That and with so many stories to add to my single life's adventures. Each and every journey, every travel, I always ended up being enriched, knowing a little more about life and God, about human behaviors and the beauty of everything around me and facing many other stuffs that lies within my heart. Thus, it's more of a spiritual journey to me.

***

captions (for pics without caps above): The IF Tower, the highest in HK with 88 floors.../Yummy adventure at Cafe de Coral.

Places, places, places!

Mongkok - shopping to death!

Central - Hoarded with Filipinos every Sunday

The Peak - best place to go at night

Avenue of the Stars - best place to go at night, too (although I went there in the morning, well, next time)

Aberleen - interesting

Victoria Harbour - take the boat ride!

Yu Mai Tai - a place I walked just to kill time

Tsim Cha Tsui - countless shops (there are many expensive ones) and hotels

Postscript: I need to share this story, I hope we could learn a thing or two from this.

I was in a cosmetic shop called Sasa in Central when I can't help but listen to the conversation of the two ladies next to me. They are Filipinos, I could tell (by their looks and the strong Filipino accent in their English).

Okay, I forgave their uber-loud voice, and I forgave how they acted as if they are rich (cos maybe they are). What I couldn't stand was how they have to pretend like they are native English speakers! Can't they talk to each other in Tagalog? They are both Filipinos, for crying out loud! I noticed the other girl even had a hard time talking and had to pause and think for like 5-10 seconds before saying the next word.

A Filipino proverb kept ringing on my ears, I felt like any minute Jose Rizal would awoke out from his grave..."Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, ay mahigit pa sa mabaho at malansang isda." (One who doesn't know how to love her own mother language is worst than a stinky, rotten fish.)

How can I be so sure that they're Filipinos?

Because later, as they tried to describe something in English but found it hard...they started speaking in Tagalog.

Hay, pastilan!

Feng Huang

* This is a travel article I wrote which was published in Sun.Star Cebu February 7 of this year.

The morning when we left Feng Huang. The snow had subsided but it was so chilly.

The Wunshou Palace at night. Sweet!

Feng Huang

It may have been the relaxing sound of flowing water from the Toujiang River, or the age-oldedifices reminiscent of the Ming and Qing dynasties, or because of its people – friendly and simple – with its laid-back lifestyle, that convinced me that Feng Huang would be a place I would love to visit again and again.

HOW THE CITY GOT ITS NAME

Houses along the Tuojiang River

Legend has it that long, long time ago, two phoenix birds happened upon a place so glorious that they were deeply enticed by its beauty, never wanting to leave. Now, the place is called Feng Huang, the Chinese word for phoenix, the mythical bird known to be a harbinger of good omens and possessing the power to rise from the ashes after being consumed by fire. A county in China’s southern Hunan province, Feng Huang is said to be one of the most beautiful towns in China. It was first built on 1203 and was turned into a brick city by 1556. Decades after, in 1715, Feng Huang became a stone city. Until now, the original structures,especially those from the Ming and Qing dynasties, have been preserved, even with modern streets enveloping the old town.

UPON ARRIVAL

Mountains dappled with winter fog met me and my friends when we arrived. It was an eight-hour train ride from Hunan’s capital Changsha to the town of Jishou, followed by a two-hour bus ride to Feng Huang. The foggy weather was not a good sign for travelers and villagers alike, for it meant that it could rain and snow anytime soon. I was told that the perfect time to visit Feng Huang was during the summer, when one could enjoy the scenery sans the chilly weather. The entire Hunan province has no heating system to keep you warm, especially at night. Even so, the beauty of Feng Huang is constant all year round, regardless of season.

Wooden houses sit on stilts, restaurants and shops straddle along the banks of Tuojiang River while three bridges span across it. Also in sight were women washing clothes with wooden paddles or ladles in hand, and travelers doing any, if not all, of these three things: taking pictures of the Toujiang river and its vicinity, dressing up like Miao villagers (for friends to take pictures), or taking a boat ride to see the entire river scenery in one sitting.

There were alleyways paved with large flagstones on Stone street. Nearby were meandering passageways to rows and rows of shops, restaurants and street vendors. Art enthusiasts will enjoy the art shops along these rows. In several coffee shops, one can hang out with friends or simply

Me in Miao attire. It was chilly and cold but I managed to smile.

read a book. My favorite dinner haunt is Yi Jiang Yue Bar, where I spent most of my time reading travelers’ notes and letters posted on its walls.

Dominated by a Miao minority, Miao culture is prevalent in this small town and it is not a surprise for one to see a person with baskets on his back, slung like a knapsack;or women dressed in traditional Miao costume – headdress glinting with lustrous silver, brightly-colored tunic and trousers, embroidered bodices mottled with color, allaccented with silver jewelry.

FENG HUANG BY NIGHT

At night, Feng Huang city vibrates with color. The sight of Wanshou Palace, Rainbow Bridge, the old pagoda and the edifices near the riverbanks dressed in lights with hues of red, orange, blue and green, speaks of a city capable of transforming itself from a serene natural beauty by day to a vivacious charmer by night.

Another interesting thing to do by the riverbank at night, besides taking pictures and bargaining at shops, is offering a prayer. Candles are placed on a paper plate with flower design and are available along the riverbanks. You may light a candle and let it float on the river while you say your prayers. It is believed that doing so will make yourdreams come true and answer your prayers.

Vendors selling jade and silver jewelries

BEYOND THE CITY

Beyond Feng Huang, an hour or so away, is the heart of the Miao villages. I learnedthat the Miao minority has retained their spoken language,but not their writtensystem. A Miao gesture of hospitality includes offering rice wine to every visitor inthe village. Along the way to the Miao performing hall, old folk greeted me whilethey were preparing to make silver jewelry. Several steps further, some folk sold batikcloths at a very reasonable price. Miao houses, though old and shabby, reflect the inhabitants’ humble and unassuming lifestyle. Another sight to see not far from the Miao villages is the Southern Great Wall. This wall is different from the Great Wall that lies in the northern part of China. It is 190-kilometers long with 848 perplexed blockhouses, a living testimony to the 400-year struggle and battles of the local townsmen.

Tianglongxia Canyon on the east of Feng Huang city, 24 kilometers away, is Feng Huang’s National Geopark. The canyon stretches 2.5 kilometers and is famous for its “dangerous and peculiar steep slopes”. Though a hike from the entrance of the park to the Qiansi spring is a challenge to travelers, it is both satisfying and breathtaking to be able to witness the grandeur of nature right before your eyes. One can see countless waterfalls, fantastic rock formations, ladder-like slopes, the Karst spring on a faulted cliff, and the Qiansi spring which sprays water in thousands of silver threads.

Poor pigs...i thought it interesting to post this.

SAYING GOODBYE

We left Feng Huang as the snow subsided. It was early morning, when the city was about to stir. I felt a sense of connection to it, maybe because in many ways the peoples’ attitude towards life touched me. The whole place’s beauty somehow felt like it was begging me to explore it more, and the Tuojiang river, though cold in the winter weather, was like a friend encouraging me to flow on amidst life’s ever changing times.

As the sound of crisp snow beneath my every step told me that I was about to leave, I thought of the mythical phoenix birds in the legend of long ago. In a way, they became alive in me…because like them I was enchanted, never wanting to leave.

February 7, 2008

Sun.Star Cebu

by: Cathy Perez

(note: pictures in this post are not exactly the pictures that appeared in print.)

and some things are the same

One of the books I'm currently reading is from a popular travel writer Paul Theroux. Theroux's book, Riding the Iron Rooster by Train Through China is, as stated by the book cover, "an eye-opening and entertaining account of travels in old and new China".

And for someone who's been residing in China for a year now, I often found myself nodding to the thoughts and observation of Paul Theroux.

Here's the catch though...the book was published on 1987.

Nevertheless, some things are the same here in China. And here are some of my thoughts together with quotes from Paul Theroux's Iron Rooster (in random from different pages) thoughts/tidbits that I agree with because even as time passed by, they still remain the same.

1. Chinese cannot hide their interest in anything.

"The Chinese never seemed to hide their interest in anything. They stared frankly - when I opened my wallet they peered in, when I unzipped my bag a crowd gathered to look at my laundry. They are seldom alone; usually they were part of a watching crowd, which made it all possible. They were riveted by the freakish and the pathetic." (page 213)

I laughed when I read that passage. Why? Because I experienced the same thing on my train travels. One time when I was on the train from Guangdong going to Tianjin, I never said one word because I know I am going to be the center of attention in the train if one Chinese ever finds out I'm a foreigner (it's easy for me to pretend I'm Chinese cos I'm Asian looking). After a couple hours of what I thought was a success in hiding my true identity as a foreigner, one woman asked me something. At first I tried to pretend that I did not hear her, but she persisted and asked many questions so I told her that I am sorry cos I can't understand what she said cos I'm a foreigner (Duibuqi, Wo ting pudong. Wo shi way guo ren). Then everyone in my part of the train stared at me. And it was like that for the next 20 hours on the train. When I awoke the next morning, I saw the woman opposite my bunk staring at me as I opened my eyes. I looked at the person on the bunk up next to her's and he was staring all the same. I pulled my sheet up my head and went back to sleep.

2. The friendliness of the Chinese.

"Their attentions were sometimes bewildering, as when they leaned over my shoulder trying to read what I was scribbling into my notebook, or pressed their damp faces against my book, fascinated by the English words. But their curiosity and goodwill were genuine, and in general they were hospitable towards strangers and reasonably candid." (page 300)

This one is, in a way, connected to the one above. Yes, Chinese people are so friendly. If you've been reading my travel thoughts in Beijing you would know what I mean. Their attention could sometimes be bewildering cos they are constantly curious of someone or something that are not the same as them. I would speak English to one restaurant attendant and all the rest would gather to listen to my English. It's fun at times, but then later on you would like to be just normal and not to gather too much attention to how poor you are in your Chinese. I'm speaking for myself in here.

3. Ice cream for winter.

"People shopped, bought frozen food (melons, meat, bread) and licked ice cream. That was the most popular snacks in Harbin - vanilla ice cream. And the second most popular were small cherry-sized "haws" (hawthorn berries) which they coated with red goo and jammed on twigs." (page 318)

The quote above was Paul Theroux's observation in Harbin. I have gone to Harbin myself and I observed the same thing (aside from the fact that women in Harbin likes their hair to be really, really curly it almost look like they are wigs and not an ordinary hair). It was freezing cold outside and you'll see people joyfully eating ice cream (and some would pair ice cream with spicy barbecue, talk about an adventurous combination). My friends in Harbin asked me if I would like to try it out. The wind blew against my face and it felt like my face was slashed with a razor blade. I said yes to my friends and off we go. Very cold ice cream on my left hand, and the very spicy barbecue on my left. I survived!

4. Loud is natural.

"And they talked very loudly in that deaf, nagging and interrupting way, as if no one ever listened to them and they have to shout in order to be heard." (page 217)

Chinese people could be shy. I attest to that in the silence of my students when I start to ask something in class, or in how low their voices are in oral recitations. But in the restaurants, internet cafes, in buses and trains and in other public places - Chinese would talk very loudly. In other countries, or in the Philippines, one would get the attention of the staff in the restaurant by waiting to see him/her eye-to-eye then giving a signal that one would order, in China, people would shout "fuwuyuan!!!!" (meaning helper, attendant, staff). They talk loudly all at the same time and would smoke inside restaurants and internet cafes.

sweet morning treat

Woke up late this morning but was surprised to see a note in the kitchen from another foreign teacher, Nina. She's off to Beijing but has asked me and Alex (another foreign teacher) to help ourselves with some pear soup on the fridge.

I tasted it, and yummy it was!

Thank you Lord for the sweet morning treat through Nina.

online proposal

Some weeks ago, an online friend asked me if I could be his girlfriend.

With the world bridging the distance amongst people by the power of the internet, you can't help but meet people on-line who are interested to find someone special - online.

It took me days to respond to that person's e-mail. It's not that I did not know my answer because I did, and I had no confusion whatsoever on what I feel towards this person. Here are some of my considerations, important considerations before starting a relationship:

1. Friendship first. Friendship is very important to me before anything else. I read a book before that says love is like a long-stemmed rose, the stem is the friendship and the rose is the love. Without the stem (friendship), the rose (love) would die because all the sustenance that keeps the rose alive is through the stem.

2. No long distance, please. I used to think that a long distance relationship is fine. And I mean the long distance relationship that is really long distance from the very start, you haven't seen this person, you just met him online and work it out online. Maybe it works for some people but I don't think it is for me. Now if I already know the person in real life and we have to work out a long-distance one after, then that's a completely different story.

3. Common interest. I need someone who believes in the same thing that I believe in, especially in my spirituality. They say that opposites attract, nice one, but at the core of the relationship, what keeps it holding on is what is common - the values and what a couple believes in. Just a two-cents.

4. Sincerity. I am 27 and is not looking for someone who is just playing. Go look for one somewhere else. Understand?

5. Intelligence. If you are to be with me for a long haul, then might as well have lots of interesting stuff in your mind because I can't stand shallowness, if there is such a word.

I guess I can add a few other things on what I mentioned above but that will do for now. And for that online guy, I did respond to him so he got his answers. And I guess you can figure out what it was.

That's another one on my "Charge to singlehood experience" list.

the passion of this poem

I've been lost with this poem several times already. I feel the passion, the purity, the authentic love, the honesty, and the commitment that goes with writing this poem. Love, in this poem, is sacred and holy, and something that reaches for eternity, something full of hope, and faith.

How do I love thee? Let me count the
ways...

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right,

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lose saints, ---I love thee with the breadth,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

***

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

the Beijing experience, and some randoms (part 3)

Lovely Water Cube and Birds Nest. Can't wait to see them at night. Soon.

Raindrops keep falling on my head. An unforgettable Beijing experience. Here with Ren.

An interesting wine, indeed. What with a snake inside!

At the Ming Dynasty Wax Museum. In 1449 of the Ming Dynasty when the Qirats caught Ming's empedimenta and imperial concubines were captured. This signifies the fall of the dynasty.

Compared to other cities in China, Beijing has the most number of Chinese who can speak English. And for one who can't speak Chinese, it's a sigh of relief to be able to receive hospitality from those Chinese that can speak English. If you have no idea how hospitable a Chinese could be, let me clue you in and point out some examples.

On my travel to Harbin, one family connected to a student of mine in the university literally adopted me - dinner with the family, lunch, tour around the city and some other sweet things that goes with it. I was about to check in to a certain hotel when I arrived there when they asked me to check out and went with me to another hotel where I had 50% discount in my 4 days of stay. Never have I felt so pampered and taken care of, it's almost like I'm a princess or something. Really.

I was with students to the South of China, also early this year. I could not believe how much they cared for me. This has its own disadvantages also. I, at some point, felt like they're invading my privacy. You see, space to me is very important. I always needed space, and somehow they don't know a lot about that. They can be too focused on keeping you satisfied and good without realizing that they're invading a personal space already.

And for a foreigner to travel in some cities in China, although it can be depressing to look for someone who speaks English but once you find one, he/she will make sure that you get the answers to your question. Even if that Chinese doesn't know the answer, he/she will find it out for you. They will never walk away unless you're satisfied. That's true 90% of the time.

And so in Beijing, we met several people who were so generous of their time to us. On our way to Qianmen Lu, when we have just gotten a ride from the Beijing South Railway, a couple helped us out and was with us from the 2 buses to the subway. The woman was even kind enough to write down the details of the ride, like the bus numbers and stops, in Chinese and pinyin at that. Three students, perhaps on their way to a mall, or to their houses; walked with us for, say, 20 minutes just to make sure we get the right buses and stops on our way back to Tianjin.

It's not hard to travel in China cos Chinese people are always ready to lend a helping hand. That's one thing I like about them. Of course there always will be culture differences, culture clashes even, but that's always true wherever you are in the world.

Going back to the Beijing travel. The tour includes a visit to the Ming Dynasty Wax Museum. Lifesize "wax" statues are there, though I don't think they are really made of wax. The we also went to another place, a supermarket of traditional Chinese products. It was there that I saw this wine with a snake inside. Whatever it's function, I dare not ask. I took photos, and somehow explained it to myself that it's a wonder-medicine, for some reasons.

Tired of the whole travel, me and my friends refused to go to another jewelry shop. We decided to just stay outside, for the bus driver somehow explained that we could not stay inside the bus. Alas, when we arrived in Qianmen Lu, my stomach was already grumbling, and it reminded me of the worst lunch ever. Truly unforgettable.

Dinner was at a Korean Restaurant with accomodating staff who does either of the two - shouts to greet the customers, or delivers wrong orders. My friend complained for what was given to her, and several minutes after a Chinese woman seated beside our table also complained of what she got.

Several minutes of rest in the hotel and we are ready to go to the Olympic Stadium. I know for a fact that these places - the Water Cube and Birds Nest - shines its best at night. A staff in the hotel gave us directions, and we were so ready for the night's adventure when, when, when, when it rained. We were stuck in an underway towards the East Tian'anmen Subway Station. And we decided to go back.

And what followed was another unforgettable. With my camera safely wrapped and tucked in my armpit, we ran back to the hotel. Yes, we ran. It was still raining, and none of us carried an umbrella. So...running was swell. The fun part was that there were many people who did the same. So while running, I tried my best not to bump into other people. It was like a physical activity induced with the quickness of mind. I laughed hard almost bumping into people as they also tried their best not to bump me. And mind you, there were so many people there, thousands are there in that street, people from different nationalities. I sure would not mind bumping into a real cute guy though.

We never made it to the Birds Nest and Water Cube that night. We went to these places the next day. We took the number 2 Olympic Line bus, again for 1RMB, and got off at exactly the same place. The two places are beside each other, gigantic and real sights to behold.

Across the Water Cube and Birds Nest is the Pan Gu 7-star Hotel. Another sight to behold.

Post Script:

1. Since we are way-guo-ren (foreigners), we paid a higher price than the local Chinese. You see, we paid 8RMB for a squid barbecue when a local Chinese only paid 5.

2. As the capital and a bustling city, not to mention the venue of the 2008 Olympic games, prices in Beijing are far more expensive than where I'm based - Tianjin (except for the transpo fares). One liter of water in Tianjin is 3.5RMB. Surprise, it's 5RMB in Beijing!

3. Contrary to what I expected, not every taxi driver in Beijing knows how to speak English. We took a taxi ride to Silk Street, that was our first and last taxi ride for this certain travel, and the taxi driver never said anything. He nodded when I showed him the address from my cellphone and smiled when we got off. Though I have to say that his driving skill was excellent.

4. Beijing is a perfect representation of the ancient and the modern China. Pagodas and temples are everywhere, whilst big malls and shopping districts are everywhere, too. It's a city of 13-15 million people, and they too are representations of the old and new China.

the Beijing experience, and some randoms (part 2)

I could not believe it took me ages to update this blog for the part 2 of the Beijing experience. I know I love writing, that's for sure. But there are things that I do need to do first. I had this talk with a Chinese friend and I told him how much I love writing, and that I would go back to it even if I know I'm not that best in it or even if I know I don't have the chance anymore. And he said that, yeah, we all have our own passion...but we also need to live.

Bulls-eye!

So, I'll try my very best to recall the exciting things in Beijing. For one, I love the cost of their transportation there. It is crowded, and indeed it's part of the package. But for the mrt, its 2RMB wherever you go, and 1RMB for the buses. Very reasonable.

One unforgettable experience was in climbing the Great Wall. Years ago, I would look at the painting of the Great Wall and somehow in my heart I have a secret desire to one day step into it not only with the fleeting charm of my imagination but on being all there and basking on its grandeur.

Me and 3 other friends joined a tour group to go to the Wall. And since we were like chance passengers cos of our last minute booking, we joined the Chinese group instead of those with the foreigners. And you will know later why I deem it important to mention that here.

And so, we were in the gates of Badaling and decided to take the right side instead of the left. The steps are steep, and it was a little frightening to look down. A part of me said I should give up, but another part said..."hey, you've waited for this...you're here...go for it!"

And guess which voice won?

I don't wanna sound schizophrenic, dear one. You can relate to the moments when you would ask yourself questions and find yourself answering your own question. Thoughts after thoughts, one opposing the other. And your heart is listening. Then it would make a choice, hopefully one that is favorable and would produce good result.

After several minutes of climbing the steep steps, we came to the easier stairways which allowed us to breath and take pictures. From the top you'll see the wonderful mountains. And since it's September, the trees are blooming with green leaves in the midst of the early Autumn season.

We arrived at a watchtower, took photos, chit-chatted, laughed...then went on. Several watchtowers later, I was surprised to find a vendor with her makeshift shop selling Great Wall souvenir items - shirts, pens, sculpted items, notebooks and some other artworks.

Just before another watchtower, we reckoned that it's time to go back. Our guide told us to be back by 12 for lunch. Climbing the wall was taxing, so the thought of food made us aggreable.

I reconnoitered the place one more time and thought of the many Chinese who died building the wall. It's an estimate of 2-3 million men for the centuries-long project. Out of these millions, did one of them realize that the work of their hands would one day become the world's great wonder? Or was there one who figured out that what they're working for could soon be the earth's sole visible item seen in a human eye from the moon?

I guess no one expected that. The goal was to protect outside invasions and attacks.

And a thought came to me, it's about the legacy that outlives us. We see our lives in a short-sighted state. We see only what's here now. But what we are doing in the present would live for the future. For now we would think that we are doing a small part for humanity, sometimes we even feel so useless; when in the grand scheme, the works of our hands may live for the generations to come.

My sentimental self nudged at me, amidst the laughter of my friends, and the many poses we rendered with the Great Wall as the background.

It could have been a completely amazing experience...until comes lunch. Our tour includes lunch so, after climbing the wall one is starving and not to mention, quite irritable (well, I do get irritable when I'm hungry). Can you believe we have to go to this Jade Shop first before lunch when it's already 1:30? I was about to explode when the tour guide gave us the favor to eat and directed us to the 3rd floor of the building where the Jade Shop is.

What followed was the worst, yes, the worst, lunch in my whole stay in China.

Dry rice, welting, so unfresh cucumbers and some other veggies (no meat or fish on it), one plate of fish that had a funny aftertaste, there was another welting cabbage, and others that I could not remember cos I never tasted them in the first place. One look at them and you'll know that they are severely beaten and funnily cooked, for lack of a better term.

Seated on our lunch table were 9 people, including me and my three friends. All were silent while eating, a bit sad, or disappointed, or tired perhaps.

My inner volcano was about to erupt. Then I realize that I have no choice. I could complain to the tour guide and she would only give me a sheepish smile because she could not understand English. I could complain to the staff at this noisy, crowded and dirty restaurant, and they will just glare at me like I'm doomed. By the way, my friend was still eating when the staff came and pick up the plates from our table and toss it to their cleaning carts. So rude.

I did mention that we joined the Chinese tour group, right? The foreign tour group had a different restaurant. Much better than what we had, and I would conclude that they have had better food as well.

Ah, China!

(to be continued)