One of the many times when I want to write something but I can't. I feel like my mind has many things to share but can't point out anything in particular.
I wanted to share about the laughter and tears in last night's group sharing, of the beauty of God's grace reflected upon all stories. And I was reminded again, I would try to be really good so that God would love me but I know I could never be good enough and I know there's nothing that I will do that'll make me less lovable. That's the beauty of having something that cannot be earned by yourself. It's humbling.
Or on the truth I received this morning..."Be bold in your prayers," David Rout preached. Many times I've been passive, thinking that the bad things that happened is natural and I should learn something from them, its a very positive way of thinking but I could also be bold in my prayers - that's the priviledge of having Jesus as the savior. I don't need to slaughter sheeps for sacrifice, I can simply come to Him, and be honest towards Him, and then surrender to Him.
David Rout also shared about some people who confessed that they know God but they only go as far as knowing God in their heads but not in their hearts.
And I thought about my personal walk with the Lord. Everyone knows its not easy to follow Christ. There were times when some people would tell me how I should follow Christ, they want me to follow their steps and standards. I struggled many times, and always Jesus would come to set me free.
One thing I learned is that following Christ is based on a personal relationship with Him...and that's why I have fallen in love with Jesus. He gave me faith, and so I hold on to faith as I talk to Him. And that faith sends me beside Him, with Him listening to what I'm saying.
He is not someone who would condemn me with my mistakes but He would always see things in the light of His love. He is not like other people, He forgives and forgets. He is not stuck on old ruts.
He trusted me too much, believes in me hugely...even if He knows I could not be trusted.
He understands my humanity - my laziness, my weaknesses and my faults. I can be myself with Him. He is the God who sees me and I don't have to put on anything for Him to love me. I can be wholly me and He loves me still.
And, Jesus knows I am so undone...and He never gives up on me.
It used to be that I would be touched with what Jesus did to those people in the Bible. But now He is more than the pages of that book. I know about His love for I'm experiencing it in my life. He is real to me.
If people would ask me about religion, theology and stuff, I would be sorry to say that I don't know much about those things. One thing I know - that He loves me, and His love never lets me go.
Now I'm writing. ;)
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