A month ago, I bought 120 pairs of chopsticks in Beijing and sent it home and asked my sister to embellish it for a friend's wedding souvenir. This morning, that friend, who is to tie-the-knot this December chatted with me in ym to say her thanks.And in the middle of the chat, she asked about my lovelife.
It's not like I'm new to this, no. In fact, I'd like to think that I have become so good at answering such query by digressing the issue and making it appear like I'm joking. Which I really am. Whoever says that we have to be so dead serious about being single?
In the world of singletons where one would enter a restaurant and signal the waiter, "table for one, please!", life is an adventure that will soon reach it's summit when one finds "the one". I'm saying that because for some time I imagined my life to be much better when "the one" is beside me experiencing the same thing that I'm having, say, traveling. I used to think that traveling would be much better if "the one" is beside me - pics beside me, hoping in to a new restraurant with me, or telling me where we will go next. Those were thought bubbles that seem so exciting to think about but remained, as they are - unreal.
But time has a gift of wisdom in itself, and I have learned that those moments were mere deception that took away my gratitude to where God has planted me at the moment.
So, when my friend threw in the proverbial question, "how is your love life?", I gave a waggish answer, as always, because to those who are outside the world of singletons, my sentiments may not sound so sensible.
But if I were to give an honest answer, it would be...
I have no love life, if you were asking about someone special, but I do have a life and this life might be so different (and filled with ennui) to some. It's a life of being single that I have come to love and live fully. It's a season of life where I hold on to God's purpose in me even when there are times that I find myself debating about that purpose. It's a season of hope even as time of hopelessness strikes every now and then. It's a season of discovering many things - about myself, my surroundings and about God. It's the season of ups and downs and up again, and a season of waking up late in the weekend morning without having to think of someone being hungry besides oneself. It's a season of freedom which means that I have to guard myself even more and be single-minded with God to be able to follow His ways of purity and chastity. There are times that my being single becomes a center of attention, a root of jocosity and humour, or even of curiosity and "grilling."
But all of it I love and would not exchange for anything else.
I have learned to take my lot without flinching, and with God's grace will I hold on to this until God knows when. I know what I'm worth and I don't sell myself cheap to someone who doesn't get it. I know who I am and that makes all the difference because I no longer care about the things I don't have. The world may say that a lover completes a life, but thankfully, I see the world in a different sight now...and know that nothing in this world can complete me.
I am single now, and may remain so for a long time, or maybe for the rest of my life; or maybe I won't be single for long - who knows but God! Thing is --- we all are at different stages of life, some are singles, some married, some in a relationship, the difference however, is in knowing the purpose of where we are and the anchor that we're holding unto as we trudge on.
So how's my love life? Which answer would you like me to give then...?
Posts
