the passion of this poem

I've been lost with this poem several times already. I feel the passion, the purity, the authentic love, the honesty, and the commitment that goes with writing this poem. Love, in this poem, is sacred and holy, and something that reaches for eternity, something full of hope, and faith.

How do I love thee? Let me count the
ways...

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right,

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lose saints, ---I love thee with the breadth,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

***

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

the Beijing experience, and some randoms (part 3)

Lovely Water Cube and Birds Nest. Can't wait to see them at night. Soon.

Raindrops keep falling on my head. An unforgettable Beijing experience. Here with Ren.

An interesting wine, indeed. What with a snake inside!

At the Ming Dynasty Wax Museum. In 1449 of the Ming Dynasty when the Qirats caught Ming's empedimenta and imperial concubines were captured. This signifies the fall of the dynasty.

Compared to other cities in China, Beijing has the most number of Chinese who can speak English. And for one who can't speak Chinese, it's a sigh of relief to be able to receive hospitality from those Chinese that can speak English. If you have no idea how hospitable a Chinese could be, let me clue you in and point out some examples.

On my travel to Harbin, one family connected to a student of mine in the university literally adopted me - dinner with the family, lunch, tour around the city and some other sweet things that goes with it. I was about to check in to a certain hotel when I arrived there when they asked me to check out and went with me to another hotel where I had 50% discount in my 4 days of stay. Never have I felt so pampered and taken care of, it's almost like I'm a princess or something. Really.

I was with students to the South of China, also early this year. I could not believe how much they cared for me. This has its own disadvantages also. I, at some point, felt like they're invading my privacy. You see, space to me is very important. I always needed space, and somehow they don't know a lot about that. They can be too focused on keeping you satisfied and good without realizing that they're invading a personal space already.

And for a foreigner to travel in some cities in China, although it can be depressing to look for someone who speaks English but once you find one, he/she will make sure that you get the answers to your question. Even if that Chinese doesn't know the answer, he/she will find it out for you. They will never walk away unless you're satisfied. That's true 90% of the time.

And so in Beijing, we met several people who were so generous of their time to us. On our way to Qianmen Lu, when we have just gotten a ride from the Beijing South Railway, a couple helped us out and was with us from the 2 buses to the subway. The woman was even kind enough to write down the details of the ride, like the bus numbers and stops, in Chinese and pinyin at that. Three students, perhaps on their way to a mall, or to their houses; walked with us for, say, 20 minutes just to make sure we get the right buses and stops on our way back to Tianjin.

It's not hard to travel in China cos Chinese people are always ready to lend a helping hand. That's one thing I like about them. Of course there always will be culture differences, culture clashes even, but that's always true wherever you are in the world.

Going back to the Beijing travel. The tour includes a visit to the Ming Dynasty Wax Museum. Lifesize "wax" statues are there, though I don't think they are really made of wax. The we also went to another place, a supermarket of traditional Chinese products. It was there that I saw this wine with a snake inside. Whatever it's function, I dare not ask. I took photos, and somehow explained it to myself that it's a wonder-medicine, for some reasons.

Tired of the whole travel, me and my friends refused to go to another jewelry shop. We decided to just stay outside, for the bus driver somehow explained that we could not stay inside the bus. Alas, when we arrived in Qianmen Lu, my stomach was already grumbling, and it reminded me of the worst lunch ever. Truly unforgettable.

Dinner was at a Korean Restaurant with accomodating staff who does either of the two - shouts to greet the customers, or delivers wrong orders. My friend complained for what was given to her, and several minutes after a Chinese woman seated beside our table also complained of what she got.

Several minutes of rest in the hotel and we are ready to go to the Olympic Stadium. I know for a fact that these places - the Water Cube and Birds Nest - shines its best at night. A staff in the hotel gave us directions, and we were so ready for the night's adventure when, when, when, when it rained. We were stuck in an underway towards the East Tian'anmen Subway Station. And we decided to go back.

And what followed was another unforgettable. With my camera safely wrapped and tucked in my armpit, we ran back to the hotel. Yes, we ran. It was still raining, and none of us carried an umbrella. So...running was swell. The fun part was that there were many people who did the same. So while running, I tried my best not to bump into other people. It was like a physical activity induced with the quickness of mind. I laughed hard almost bumping into people as they also tried their best not to bump me. And mind you, there were so many people there, thousands are there in that street, people from different nationalities. I sure would not mind bumping into a real cute guy though.

We never made it to the Birds Nest and Water Cube that night. We went to these places the next day. We took the number 2 Olympic Line bus, again for 1RMB, and got off at exactly the same place. The two places are beside each other, gigantic and real sights to behold.

Across the Water Cube and Birds Nest is the Pan Gu 7-star Hotel. Another sight to behold.

Post Script:

1. Since we are way-guo-ren (foreigners), we paid a higher price than the local Chinese. You see, we paid 8RMB for a squid barbecue when a local Chinese only paid 5.

2. As the capital and a bustling city, not to mention the venue of the 2008 Olympic games, prices in Beijing are far more expensive than where I'm based - Tianjin (except for the transpo fares). One liter of water in Tianjin is 3.5RMB. Surprise, it's 5RMB in Beijing!

3. Contrary to what I expected, not every taxi driver in Beijing knows how to speak English. We took a taxi ride to Silk Street, that was our first and last taxi ride for this certain travel, and the taxi driver never said anything. He nodded when I showed him the address from my cellphone and smiled when we got off. Though I have to say that his driving skill was excellent.

4. Beijing is a perfect representation of the ancient and the modern China. Pagodas and temples are everywhere, whilst big malls and shopping districts are everywhere, too. It's a city of 13-15 million people, and they too are representations of the old and new China.

the Beijing experience, and some randoms (part 2)

I could not believe it took me ages to update this blog for the part 2 of the Beijing experience. I know I love writing, that's for sure. But there are things that I do need to do first. I had this talk with a Chinese friend and I told him how much I love writing, and that I would go back to it even if I know I'm not that best in it or even if I know I don't have the chance anymore. And he said that, yeah, we all have our own passion...but we also need to live.

Bulls-eye!

So, I'll try my very best to recall the exciting things in Beijing. For one, I love the cost of their transportation there. It is crowded, and indeed it's part of the package. But for the mrt, its 2RMB wherever you go, and 1RMB for the buses. Very reasonable.

One unforgettable experience was in climbing the Great Wall. Years ago, I would look at the painting of the Great Wall and somehow in my heart I have a secret desire to one day step into it not only with the fleeting charm of my imagination but on being all there and basking on its grandeur.

Me and 3 other friends joined a tour group to go to the Wall. And since we were like chance passengers cos of our last minute booking, we joined the Chinese group instead of those with the foreigners. And you will know later why I deem it important to mention that here.

And so, we were in the gates of Badaling and decided to take the right side instead of the left. The steps are steep, and it was a little frightening to look down. A part of me said I should give up, but another part said..."hey, you've waited for this...you're here...go for it!"

And guess which voice won?

I don't wanna sound schizophrenic, dear one. You can relate to the moments when you would ask yourself questions and find yourself answering your own question. Thoughts after thoughts, one opposing the other. And your heart is listening. Then it would make a choice, hopefully one that is favorable and would produce good result.

After several minutes of climbing the steep steps, we came to the easier stairways which allowed us to breath and take pictures. From the top you'll see the wonderful mountains. And since it's September, the trees are blooming with green leaves in the midst of the early Autumn season.

We arrived at a watchtower, took photos, chit-chatted, laughed...then went on. Several watchtowers later, I was surprised to find a vendor with her makeshift shop selling Great Wall souvenir items - shirts, pens, sculpted items, notebooks and some other artworks.

Just before another watchtower, we reckoned that it's time to go back. Our guide told us to be back by 12 for lunch. Climbing the wall was taxing, so the thought of food made us aggreable.

I reconnoitered the place one more time and thought of the many Chinese who died building the wall. It's an estimate of 2-3 million men for the centuries-long project. Out of these millions, did one of them realize that the work of their hands would one day become the world's great wonder? Or was there one who figured out that what they're working for could soon be the earth's sole visible item seen in a human eye from the moon?

I guess no one expected that. The goal was to protect outside invasions and attacks.

And a thought came to me, it's about the legacy that outlives us. We see our lives in a short-sighted state. We see only what's here now. But what we are doing in the present would live for the future. For now we would think that we are doing a small part for humanity, sometimes we even feel so useless; when in the grand scheme, the works of our hands may live for the generations to come.

My sentimental self nudged at me, amidst the laughter of my friends, and the many poses we rendered with the Great Wall as the background.

It could have been a completely amazing experience...until comes lunch. Our tour includes lunch so, after climbing the wall one is starving and not to mention, quite irritable (well, I do get irritable when I'm hungry). Can you believe we have to go to this Jade Shop first before lunch when it's already 1:30? I was about to explode when the tour guide gave us the favor to eat and directed us to the 3rd floor of the building where the Jade Shop is.

What followed was the worst, yes, the worst, lunch in my whole stay in China.

Dry rice, welting, so unfresh cucumbers and some other veggies (no meat or fish on it), one plate of fish that had a funny aftertaste, there was another welting cabbage, and others that I could not remember cos I never tasted them in the first place. One look at them and you'll know that they are severely beaten and funnily cooked, for lack of a better term.

Seated on our lunch table were 9 people, including me and my three friends. All were silent while eating, a bit sad, or disappointed, or tired perhaps.

My inner volcano was about to erupt. Then I realize that I have no choice. I could complain to the tour guide and she would only give me a sheepish smile because she could not understand English. I could complain to the staff at this noisy, crowded and dirty restaurant, and they will just glare at me like I'm doomed. By the way, my friend was still eating when the staff came and pick up the plates from our table and toss it to their cleaning carts. So rude.

I did mention that we joined the Chinese tour group, right? The foreign tour group had a different restaurant. Much better than what we had, and I would conclude that they have had better food as well.

Ah, China!

(to be continued)

the Beijing experience, and some randoms (part 1)

Have been telling myself to update my blog but something always gets in the way. I admit I no longer have the passion for blogs the way I had before when my multiply was so alive and kicking it felt like I have something to write everyday. But of course things were different back then...and now is what I have to deal with.

Anyway, lots of things have been going on in this sweet (and sour? nah!) life of mine. Last week, I and three of my friends went to Beijing. Yes, Beijing - the capital of China, where the 2008 Olympics was held, and the Paralympics as well.

I remember many years ago, my father's boss gave him a calendar made of cloth with the painting of the Great Wall on it. And since it was made of cloth, it survived for a long time. It was hanged on our sala for many years...

And I never thought that one day I will be able to see not just the bigger painting, but the real one...the Great Wall with all its wonder.

I remember telling a friend once that I wish I know what the future holds. "Don't even think about it cos if you do, you'll go crazy!" he said. He was funny in many ways but he said those words seriously. And I do agree with him.

Who could have known that I will one day live in China? Or that one day I'll be a teacher surrounded with Chinese students. I mean, I did not even thought that one day I'll step into the Ice and Snow World in Harbin when months before that I was just gawking at the pics of it from the internet.

You'll never really know what life throws at you. And I am glad that I only have the present to live and the future is like one big wrapping paper to another.

And so, in Beijing, 99 percent of the time we used the buses and subway to get us around. In that way, we had the experience to live like Beijingers do - rubbing elbows inside buses and subways, jerking and holding tight at the steel bars every time the engine machine screeches, and asking around at the many times we lost ourselves in that big city.

We stayed in Liang Cheng Hotel in Qianmen Lu, a stones throw away from Tian'anmen Square and The Forbidden City. The Paralympics was ongoing the whole time we were there (Sept. 13-15) so you could just imagine the many travelers - local and international - roaming around the Beijing streets. Across the street, opposite side of our hotel, was a very

busy street with probably a hundred small shops where you can do a lot of bargaining.

What got me really excited though was the Silk Street, one bus ride away from the hotel. The place is made especially for foreigners and so the vendors know how to speak many languages - English, Russians, etc. And they know how to charm shoppers. One time, I was looking at a black sleeveless dress, and the vendor, sensing my interest, casted her spell (or spill) on me. The conversation goes like this:

Vendor: Hello, beautiful girl. Do you like this?
Me: Yes, it's nice!
Vendor: It's only 480 RMB
Me: Oh no, that's so expensive!
Vendor: Okay, how much you like?
Me: 50?
Vendor: Oh, beautiful girl, you're killing me!
Me: I'm not, believe me.
Vendor: Okay, 200.
Me: Hmmmm, 50!
Vendor: Stop that, beautiful girl. Give me a real price!
Me: 50 is a real price.
Vendor: Ahhh, you're really killing me. Come here! (grabs my elbow and
whispers in my right ear ---- "Don't tell your friends, I'm giving it to you for
120...that's the best price.")
Me: Hahhaha, you're so nice. But there are many shops here, I'm gonna go
and look and I'll go back here to buy that stuff.
Vendor: No, beautiful girl...buy it now. It's very cheap! (She grabs my
elbow again, this time it's quite tight)
Me: I'll be back. (Tries to pull myself from her grip, its getting
painful)
Vendor: No, buy now! Buy now!
Me: I'll be back (I had the serious look which reads "This is not
funny!")

And the vendor let go of me but still tried to convince me. She was on her way to reach out to me, probably to grip me once again. It was almost like I heard a buzz on my brain that sounded like "caution, caution!". Before her hand landed on my arm, I was already far from her.

I ran away from her like crazy. I guess I overdid it cos some people glanced at me with a horror-look on their faces.

Is that funny, or what?

(to be continued)

Note: First pic on this post was on Qianmen Lu, while the second pic was with friends outside Silk Street/Pearl Market, from left: me with Bonie, Joy and Ren.

night song

The night sings
of its silence
and here I am
listening to its song

Sing to me
of that distinct sound
that lures
the dawn to come

Sing to me
of certainties,
of hope, of goodness
of love

Sing to me,
let me fathom
your rhythm,
your language, your mystery

Sing, o night
charm this shadowy heart
by your grace
by your song

acperez.sept8,2008

nugget of the week

For some years now, I am one of those that are blessed by receiving author John Mason's Nugget of the Week by e-mail. These nuggets are features lifted from his books like: You Are Born An Original, Don't Die A Copy, An Enemy Called the Average, and Taming An Enemy Called The Average, to name a few.

This morning, I received another nugget and was once again blessed. It's worth reading, and meditating, until the very end of the article. What's even more touching is that in the article, my name was really in it.

God never fails to amaze me by using things, like an email, to greet my day. And thank God, for John Mason!

To: Ann Catherine
From: God
Date: Today
Re: What I Think About
You


I want to tell you that I have known you since before
the foundations of time. I even know the hairs on your head. I put you
together on purpose for a purpose. I looked at you and saw that you were
fearfully and wonderfully made. I even created you in my image.

I
know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans
to give you a hope and a future.

I also gave you gifts to prepare
and equip you for the plans I have for you. These gifts I've given are
irrevocable. Don't neglect them. Exercise them and stir them
up!

Ann Catherine, I want you to be confident about this: When I
begin a good work in you I will carry it on to completion until the day of
Christ Jesus.

Although you may encounter tribulations in this
world, I want you to know that in me you have peace. Be of good cheer. I
have overcome the world.

I am not slack concerning my promises.
Forever my Word is settled in heaven and my faithfulness to all generations.
When I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; When I have purposed it, I
will also do it.

You can look to me as a refuge and strength, a
very present help in trouble. Cast your burdens upon me and I will sustain you.
I shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Come unto me when you labor and
are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. For I am your rock, your fortress,
your deliverer, your strength in whom you can trust. Though you fall you shall
not be utterly cast down, for I will uphold you with my hand.

Don't
listen to the ungodly, don't stand with sinners, and don't sit with the
scornful. But rather delight yourself all day long in my Word. If you do, you
will be like a tree planted by the river. You will bring forth fruit in season
and whatever you do will prosper.

Finally, Ann Catherine, I want
you to know I love you. I love you so much I gave my only begotten Son. When you
believe in Him, you will not die but have healing, freedom, victory,
forgiveness, and eternal life!

spiritual clincher

Today's insight of Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest", (a devotional that is both deep and powerful and is my daily read since 2003) is a spiritual clincher:

"God's purpose is not simply to make us beautiful, plump grapes, but to
make us grapes so that He may squeeze the sweetness out of us."

korean lunch-ing

So me and my former student, Faraway, went to a Korean restaurant just outside the students dormitory...and this was what I ordered.

Too bad, I never took down the name of this food. It was a big plate with rice, pork steak with a special kind of sauce, and veggie salad...all for only 16RMB!

Yummy!

something worthwhile

Students preparing for my class

Room 204 where I hold my classes. Each student would have their own individual computer...and I have two!

So today was the first day of class in my second year of teaching in Tianjin University of Finance and Economics, Pearl River College.

And I guess I'm used to it.

I'm used to students with different levels of English, students who are too shy they can't even open their mouths, students whose faces are totally p-o-k-e-r, students who smile even without any reason at all, students who seem to flirt (this goes for the guys, good grief) and students who seemed to have this invisible question mark right above their heads.

But even with these, I see faces that are open to learn. Faces that show interest at what I shared. Faces that are friendly and respectful. Faces that could get there with perpetual encouragement and motivation.

Believe me, even with the rough edges that comes along as I teach, the fulfillment always outshines the negativity.

I don't know what these students will become one day. I don't have a clue where life will lead them, but I wished that they learned something from me and even if I'm gone and no longer teaching in this university, I have passed to them something that is worthwhile.