God takes care of everything we entrust Him.
It's funny that I need to write that to be reminded, I felt like a warrior who needs to remind himself that he is carrying a sword.
Or maybe I am just a exhausted warrior now, one that has gone through the woods with pained feet, hungry stomach and a thirsty mouth. Will I find the water that I need? I don't know when, or where, for this moment now I feel the nagging frustration of searching for something that is totally out of sight.
Is it near, or do I have to walk farther? I don't know.
How many times have I wished I never have to go through this moment now, when my heart aches for something that I don't have, when the prayer involves tears and weeping and lots of mixed emotions that seem to explode out of that little organ in the middle of my chest.
It is at this time that I can understand David, or that deer searching for water, or Jesus, minutes before He breathed His last.
A situation that looked helpless, a spirit that's broken, a strength sapped from constant thriving, and the endless walk towards somewhere I don't know - all these seem to describe me today, when life's drama suddenly clicked at me without warning.
However, there is always reason for hope amidst what seem to be a total defeat. I have to think about David again, and that deer who finally drank water, or Jesus - who defeated the enemy forever. Definitely, God knows why I have to go through this. He knows that I'd irked at the poetry of the unknown, or I'd scream and kick at the enemies I found within myself.
Yet, as I've mentioned in the first sentence of this entry - God takes care of everything we entrust to Him.
When a warrior finally realizes that there's no water everywhere, he'd succumb to the kneeling and the crying, until a thought click of looking up to heaven and wishing it would rain, or otherwise, Heaven may do whatever it wishes. That's where I am now. It looks messy and difficult, but here's the good news - I have hope. My God never gives up on me. I am tired now but not tomorrow.
I don't know God's answer to my prayer now, but soon, pretty soon - He will reveal it to me. And I will know the reason why I had to go through this moment in my life. So now, I entrust to you this tired heart of mine, knowing that you will take care of it.
x
Cathy
It's funny that I need to write that to be reminded, I felt like a warrior who needs to remind himself that he is carrying a sword.
Or maybe I am just a exhausted warrior now, one that has gone through the woods with pained feet, hungry stomach and a thirsty mouth. Will I find the water that I need? I don't know when, or where, for this moment now I feel the nagging frustration of searching for something that is totally out of sight.
Is it near, or do I have to walk farther? I don't know.
How many times have I wished I never have to go through this moment now, when my heart aches for something that I don't have, when the prayer involves tears and weeping and lots of mixed emotions that seem to explode out of that little organ in the middle of my chest.
It is at this time that I can understand David, or that deer searching for water, or Jesus, minutes before He breathed His last.
A situation that looked helpless, a spirit that's broken, a strength sapped from constant thriving, and the endless walk towards somewhere I don't know - all these seem to describe me today, when life's drama suddenly clicked at me without warning.
However, there is always reason for hope amidst what seem to be a total defeat. I have to think about David again, and that deer who finally drank water, or Jesus - who defeated the enemy forever. Definitely, God knows why I have to go through this. He knows that I'd irked at the poetry of the unknown, or I'd scream and kick at the enemies I found within myself.
Yet, as I've mentioned in the first sentence of this entry - God takes care of everything we entrust to Him.
When a warrior finally realizes that there's no water everywhere, he'd succumb to the kneeling and the crying, until a thought click of looking up to heaven and wishing it would rain, or otherwise, Heaven may do whatever it wishes. That's where I am now. It looks messy and difficult, but here's the good news - I have hope. My God never gives up on me. I am tired now but not tomorrow.
I don't know God's answer to my prayer now, but soon, pretty soon - He will reveal it to me. And I will know the reason why I had to go through this moment in my life. So now, I entrust to you this tired heart of mine, knowing that you will take care of it.
x
Cathy
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